Monday, December 04, 2017

Honest to God, Early Winter

Honest to God

Journal entry , Early winter 2017

Honest to God I've been a bit out of sorts lately.
So is Cindy.
We're both fighting off colds.
There is a bit of a let down after the frenzy of packing and moving from Helena to Lynn.
The knee injury and the brain bleed are reminders of the inevitable.
And speaking of the inevitable, Doug died. His funeral was Saturday.

And then there is the facing of the fact that I'm done now. 
After 46 years of parish priesthood.
That's it.
I'm done.
My stamina is not what it once was. 
Truth be told I'm 72 now. 
But the rest is helping.

When I remember You, God knows that helps.
That would be YOU! God knows.
Honest to God, I forget You often
In the tossing and turning of it all
The ache and the pain of it
This is when I forget you. 
And then almost as if a lightbulb switched on 
There You are.
Present in the Silence.
Unseen in the Darkness
But like those wonderful days when I was a child, we talk.
I talk.
Honest to God to You
I pour out my heart to You about all the above and more
And soon
I sleep.
And that's the part I don't remember either
In the arms of Your Heart, I sleep
As soon as I remember, it seems, I forget once more
Through it all You are there
Whether I forget or remember
Honest to God.

Fr Paul

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