David Roche and Grandpa's Roll Top Desk

David Roche

July 8,1948—December 24,2022

Jesus said 

I Am the Resurrection and the Life

The Scripture says;

I know that my Redeemer lives

and that at the last he will stand upon the earth.

After my awaking, he will raise me up;

and in my body I shall see God.

I myself shall see, and my eyes behold him

who is my friend and not a stranger.

So, then, whether we live or die,

we belong to God.

Let us pray

O God, we remember our loved one David. We thank you for giving him to us, his family and friends, to know and to love as a companion on our earthly pilgrimage. In your boundless compassion, console us who mourn. Give us faith to see in death the gate of eternal life, so that in quiet confidence we may continue our course on earth, until, by your call, we are reunited with those who have gone before; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The Messianic Banquet: Isaiah 25:6-9

On the mountain of the LORD of hosts God will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wines, of rich food filled with marrow, of well-aged wines strained clear. And he will destroy on this mountain the shroud that is cast over all peoples, the sheet that is spread over all nations; he will swallow up death forever. Then the Lord GOD will wipe away the tears from all faces, for the LORD God has spoken. It will be said on that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, so that he might save us. This is the LORD for whom we have waited; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.

The Christian Hope: John 14:1-6

Jesus said; if you believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going." Thomas said to him, "Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?" Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life.”

Grandpa’s Roll Top Desk

The most precious thing we have in life is each other. We are all devastated at the loss of David. I share many precious memories with you. On August 1, 1975 I became the rector of Christ Church in Hyde Park and Jackie Roche was the secretary. That’s the first precious thing we share. Your family and my family became acquainted from that day to this. That’s 47 years! When Jackie hugged you she held you so tight you knew what love is, pure unbridled affection. I miss her. 

And so it was that my grandmother wanted me to have my grandfather’s roll top desk. She figured I needed a good desk in my line of work. I had nobody to get it from Aunt Hummie’s house in Beverly to the rectory in Hyde Park. But Jackie knew someone with a truck who would be glad to help. That’s right, David Roche. 

I didn’t even know the man. But you do. Each one of you knows he is the kind of man who will give you the shirt of his back. And there he was, ready to help, bright and early one Saturday morning with a smile as broad and bright as a sunny day. There was something of the devil in his sense of humor and a twinkle in his eye. I found him delightful to be around. It took some doing to haul that heavy and awkward piece of furniture out of Hummie’s house and up to the second floor of the rectory. But David was there with me. He didn’t bat an eyelash, but was only too eager to help.

At some point during the day the subject of church came up. After all, I am a priest. David did serve the church in his younger years as an acolyte. But then the subject of his son Michael also came up and I understood. I spoke softly to him then and tried to find words of comfort. And here I am again today trying to find words of comfort. 

When death comes suddenly we are ill prepared to comprehend our loss or make much sense of it. So we do the only thing we know to do which is to gather with each other because the most precious gift we have is each other. 

You have hundreds of stories to tell, countless memories. Remember them. Share them, write them down if it helps. I’ve walked with many a family through the years at times like this. We always begin with our stories.

I began with the story of David Roche’s kindness to me in helping to move my grandfather’s roll top desk to the rectory. Because of that kindness and generosity of spirit, I have spent countless hours at that desk writing whatever words of comfort I could find for families I care about down through the years. That includes these very words I share with you to day.

That desk is the center of my prayer life as I search for some way of making sense of all the joys and sorrows of life down through the years.

Christmas seems like a cruel time to lose a loved one. My dad died at Christmas when I was 8 years old. And that was also cruel. Every time I hear a Christmas song, trim a tree gather with loved ones or say a prayer, whatever joy I have is always mingled with the tears of my sorrow.

Which brings me to my faith. Faith is a mystery to me. To understand it and come to terms with all that life and death brings to my faith is well beyond my pay grade. But for good or ill I am a priest. 

One reason I am a priest  is that along the way I have met so many wonderful people whose goodness and kindness have enriched my life and made the world a better place to life in. Jackie and Martin, David and Cindy, Christopher and Kim, Brian and Betsy and your precious children Brennan, Michael, Lily, Cara and Mary. And of course Debbie, Gaby and Megan we go a long, long way back together.

Some of you I know better than others. But you honor me in asking me to be here today. 

But there is another reason why I am a priest of the church. Please understand, as I wander this world I wonder about this God I love. After the loss of my dad at Christmas in 1953, I decided that the goodness and kindness of people like David exists only because of the goodness and kindness of God. Which is why I became a priest. And all I have is a hope and a prayer that there is an abundant answer to our faith in the resurrection and the life.

This is not an easy thing to believe but I will tell you where my mind went when I heard about David’s death. After the initial shock and devastation, I went to the desk that David and I lugged up the steps of the rectory so many years ago and I lit a candle and I shed a tear. I do this time and again not just because I am a priest but because I am a human being. And I care.

I prayed to the One who was born in a stable and asked him to remember David. The Holy Child is the love of God made flesh and blood and there is no finer example of that love for family than there is in David Roche. And I imagined him gathered to all those who have come before led by Jackie. I imagined Jackie welcoming him with such a hug as you cannot even begin to imagine. As I prayed I wondered suppose it is all true. Suppose there is Jackie and Martin and myriads more, suppose there is Michael too.

Scripture says that God will wipe away all the tears from our eyes. Today I am your priest. And the best I can do is offer you my love, my hope and my prayers. Today I offer you my faith. 

Because the most precious gift we have is each other. Amen.

The Prayers

God our Father,

Your power brings us to birth,

Your providence guides our lives,

and by Your command, we return to you at the end of our lives

We pray in hope for David and his family and friends,

and for all those gathered into your nearer presence.

may they rejoice in Your kingdom,

where all our tears are wiped away.

In the fullness of time unite us together again as one family,

to sing Your praise forever and ever.

Amen.

Almighty God we entrust David and all who are dear to us to your never failing care and love, both in this life and in the life that is to come knowing that you are doing for them better thing than we can ask or even care for. 

Our Father, who art in heaven,

  hallowed be thy Name,

  thy kingdom come,

  thy will be done,

  on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

  as we forgive those

  who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,

  but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,

  and the power, and the glory,

  for ever and ever.  Amen.

And now may the peace of God which passes all understanding keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of God and of his son Jesus Christ, and may the blessing of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit be upon you and remain with you this day and forevermore. Amen. 

The Committal

Everyone the Father gives to me will come to me; I will never turn away anyone who believes in me.

He who raised Jesus Christ from the dead will also give new life to our mortal bodies through his indwelling Spirit.

My heart, therefore, is glad, and my spirit rejoices; my body also shall rest in hope.

You will show me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy, and in your right hand are pleasures for evermore.

In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God David, and we commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The Lord bless him and keep him, the Lord make his face to shine upon him and be gracious to him, the Lord lift up his countenance upon him and give him peace. Amen.

Our Father, who art in heaven,

  hallowed be thy Name,

  thy kingdom come,

  thy will be done,

  on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

  as we forgive those

  who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,

  but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,

  and the power, and the glory,

  for ever and ever.  Amen.

Other prayers may be added.

Rest eternal grant to him, O Lord;
And let light perpetual shine upon him.

May his soul, and the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Alleluia. Christ is risen.
The Lord is risen indeed. Alleluia.

The God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus Christ, the great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the eternal covenant: Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is well-pleasing in his sight; through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Let us go forth in the name of Christ.
Thanks be to God.