Family Feud

 Family Feud

Face it. There’s bad blood in the family. I remember the scene in Fiddler on the Roof when Tevye’s third daughter Chava wants to marry outside the faith. Tevye reasons within himself that one the one hand she loves him and then on the other hand, he realizes there is no other hand. This far he cannot bend or he will break. He will not bless this child’s marriage outside the faith. It is a powerful moment when the Jewish family is driven out of their homes by Russian soldiers, and Tevye is finally able to look up from packing his meager belongings and softly, lovingly blesses his daughter. In this statement of faith God’s compassion emerges as primary to the father’s faith.

There was a time when Cindy and I announced we intended to marry. She being the eldest of seven in a large Italian Catholic family, I suspected we’d run into some resistance. We were both marrying outside our faith traditions. But we loved each other. I hasten to add we still do! 

The day came for Cindy’s father to take me for a long walk. We spoke of many things when he finally stopped me, looked me straight in the eye and said; “I do not want like daughter marrying outside the faith.”

I knew enough about Joe’s practice of faith to readily reply; “The day you start going to church is the day I’ll give your objections any credence!” The rest of our walk was quiet. 

Eventually we we reached an accommodation and life continued. We grew to mutual bonds of affection, honor and respect.

My mother had lots to say about our marriage but I had long since learned how to dismiss some of her emotional excesses. 

Still there are stresses and strains in family relationships. My elder brother questions my politics and my faith. And I question his. We have reached something of a rapprochement after all these years and we can still speak to one another, sort of. 

Look at how things are in God’s family. We are all one race; a human race, but you’d never know it the way questions were framed in the Senate Judiciary Committee this week. There were times this week when I wanted to commit mayhem during some of the interrogation of Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson. Still, she maintained her dignity and composure and made us stand proud like that iconic photograph of her daughter Leila Jackson beside her. How inspiring!

Which brings us to the Gospel of the Prodigal Son. Talk of iconic images! The very idea of the Prodigal Son has entered the language as idiomatic not just to people of faith but to the general public as well.

Time and again there are stories of wayward children who wander far in a land that is waste. Some come to their senses, some don’t. When they do, the father rejoices. I dare say the mother does too. We all want the best for our children. And when they suffer, we suffer too. When their heart breaks, so does ours. When they come home our hearts rejoice and we are moved to compassion. Who would not call all our friends together and spend extravagantly and celebrate?

But there’s a problem. What of the son who is faithful and true? The one who is always there? The one we can count on to be dependable and true? He is rightfully indignant just as the older brother is in today’s Gospel;

‘Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf for him!’ He has a point. 

In our Gospel life there are times when we are wayward and profligate. There are also times when you can count on us to be there day in and day out, year in and year out. Either way it is the father’s love we look to, the mother’s compassionate heart we depend on to redeem all our days.

This is who Jesus is to us. The parable may be titled incorrectly. Rather than “The Prodigal Son”, should this parable rather be called “The Compassionate Father”?

For a family to function without feuding there will need to be an abundance of love and compassion. Moreover we will need to overlook a multitude of sins. Perhaps most heart rending for any parent is bad blood between siblings. 

And face it. There’s too much bad blood out there. There is brokenness in our families and in our world. Communication may have broken down. You may be hurt. You may have hurt someone you love. 

Ultimately you may be the only hope there is to pick up the phone and make a call. A good opening line is; “What was it were fighting about?” It may not work. It may be fruitless, but it’s worth a try. And if you win the heart and soul of a loved one, there will be rejoicing in heaven.

The Fourth Sunday in Lent is known as “Laetare Sunday”. The Latin word “Laetare” means “Rejoice”.  Lent is long and and we need a day to “lighten up”. The Psalmist tells us today; “Be glad, you righteous, and Rejoice in the Lord; * shout for joy, all who are true of heart”

The custom in the British Isles on Laetare Sunday is for the family to return to the mother church, the whole family but especially mothers and their daughters. The day is referred to as Mothering Sunday. It rejoices the heart, especially God’s heart when we all come together. 

Then there is the preparation of the Simnel Cake also customary. It signifies the feeding of the five thousand and the decoration on top represents the apostles. It was a festive occasion. It was a delicious fruit cake made with layers of almond paste and marzipan. Rejoice! Celebrate! Give thanks to God!

Given the state of the world, and the fact of family feuds, it may take a conscious effort to rejoice this year. But Paul reminds us in the today’s Epistle that the old self has died and behold everything is now new because of our life in Christ. And moreover, “in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, and has entrusted the message of reconciliation to us. 

Therefore insofar as it is up to me, I will pick up the phone and at least give it a try. I might suggest likewise to all nearby and far away. 

In the Name of God, the Most Holy, Undivided and Everlasting Trinity. Amen.

Fr Paul

Below are the readings for the Fourth Sunday in Lent with highlights indicating those word, phrases and thoughts that speak to my heart. 

Fourth Sunday in Lent

The Collect:

Gracious Father, whose blessed Son Jesus Christ came down from heaven to be the true bread which gives life to the world: Evermore give us this bread, that he may live in us, and we in him; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

First Lesson: Joshua 5:9-12

The Lord said to Joshua, “Today I have rolled away from you the disgrace of Egypt.” And so that place is called Gilgal to this day.

While the Israelites were camped in Gilgal they kept the passover in the evening on the fourteenth day of the month in the plains of Jericho. On the day after the passover, on that very day, they ate the produce of the land, unleavened cakes and parched grain. The manna ceased on the day they ate the produce of the land, and the Israelites no longer had manna; they ate the crops of the land of Canaan that year.

Psalm 32

Happy are they whose transgressions are forgiven, *
       and whose sin is put away!
Happy are they to whom the Lord imputes no guilt, *
       and in whose spirit there is no guile!
While I held my tongue, my bones withered away, *
       because of my groaning all day long.
For your hand was heavy upon me day and night; *
       my moisture was dried up as in the heat of summer.
Then I acknowledged my sin to you, *
       and did not conceal my guilt.
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” *
       Then you forgave me the guilt of my sin.
Therefore all the faithful will make their prayers to you in
                           time of trouble; *
       when the great waters overflow, they shall not reach them.
You are my hiding-place;
   you preserve me from trouble; *
       you surround me with shouts of deliverance.
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way that you
                            should go; *
       I will guide you with my eye.
Do not be like horse or mule, which have no understanding; *
       who must be fitted with bit and bridle,
       or else they will not stay near you.”
Great are the tribulations of the wicked; *
       but mercy embraces those who trust in the Lord.
Be glad, you righteous, and rejoice in the Lord; *
       shout for joy, all who are true of heart.

Epistle: 2 Corinthians 5:16-21

From now on, therefore, we regard no one from a human point of view; even though we once knew Christ from a human point of view, we know him no longer in that way. So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting the message of reconciliation to us. So we are ambassadors for Christ, since God is making his appeal through us; we entreat you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Gospel: Luke 15:1-3, 11b-32

Now all the tax collectors and sinners were coming near to listen to him. And the Pharisees and the scribes were grumbling and saying, “This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them.” 3So he told them this parable:

“There was a man who had two sons. The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the property that will belong to me.’ So he divided his property between them. A few days later the younger son gathered all he had and traveled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living. When he had spent everything, a severe famine took place throughout that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the pigs. He would gladly have filled himself with the pods that the pigs were eating; and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.”’ So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. Then the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly, bring out a robe—the best one—and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ And they began to celebrate. “Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. He replied, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.’ Then he became angry and refused to go in. His father came out and began to plead with him. But he answered his father, ‘Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf for him!’ Then the father said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.’”