Of Nightmares and Visons

 Of Nightmares and Visions

When I was a child I had terrible nightmares. I remember waking up in a cold sweat, falling and spinning through an endless vortex of nothingness begging for somebody to help me. I’d sit bolt upright calling out for anybody. Then I’d hear my brother roll over in bed and tell me to go back to sleep. 

“It was just a nightmare, Buddy!”

It took a while to settle down as I realized I was safely in my own bed at home, quite securely ensconced on a good solid mattress. But then there was a terrible darkness and silence to talk to. I felt terribly alone. It only got worse after my dad died when I was 8 years old at Christmas. 

I clearly remember pouring my heart out to the Silence which now seemed to have the ability to listen to me. I’d cry myself to sleep and the Silence seemed to understand and even comfort me sometimes.

Little did I know at the time that this Silence had a Name. It came to my heart of hearts on the way home from church one day when Something in my heart told me; “Don’t you know there’s room in my heart for your daddy!” 

That’s when I learned that the Silence did have a Name; God. 

A little later I grew to know that the Name is also Jesus.

Later still did I discover that the Holy Name is the yet again the Holy Spirit.

The Blessed Silence I spoke to then and listen to now is the Blessed and Holy Trinity in whose name this church is dedicated; Father, Son and Holy Spirit. God, Jesus and Holy Ghost as we used to call her.

Yes, I know I said her. It took a while to learn that God had a feminine dimension. I had to learn a bit of Greek and Hebrew to know that Holy Spirit is literally Sancta Sophia. Sophia is a woman’s name as you and I both know. I always dedicate my sermons to this Sacred Silence which I call God; the Most Holy, Undivided and Everlasting Trinity; God the Creator, God the Savior, God the Holy Spirit. 

Silence is the first Gift of the Holy Spirit. We call her Prayer. She is as natural to us as a child calling out for Someone to listen in the darkness of a lonely, frightening night. She is always there and her name is God.

Wisdom is the Second Gift of the Holy Spirit: The Holy Wisdom from on High. I often wondered where my grandmother got all her Wisdom. I remember her swaying to and fro in her rocking chair crocheting something beautiful to decorate our home or to keep us warm on long, cold winter nights. There she’d spin her yarns night after night and I’d sit entranced as I listened. Where did she get all this? I remember coming home from College with my degree and she’d smile proud as punch. And then to keep me grounded she’d often remind me;

“You may know mo-ah, but I know bett-ah!”

It takes years and years of living and learning and listening to the Silence to gain this kind of Wisdom but as we do, we gain some insight into life. 

Wisdom has a particularly feminine dimension to it as I have already said. One time during an interview for a church, I was asked by a gentleman in his fifties what my expectations were of my wife. Cindy was sitting right next to me. I knew that the situation was highly charged in that moment but God gave me the Wisdom to say; 

“She’s sitting right here; why don’t you ask her?”

To which Cindy rather promptly said;

“He has none and neither will you!”

Needless to say our mutual discernment was that this church would not extend a call to us, nor would we accept it in the unlikely event that one was issued. 

On another occasion and in yet another interview I was asked how I deal with “difficult personalities.”

I hemmed and hawed a bit as to how I exercised a diplomatic approach in conflict situations and gave the example of an especially troublesome volunteer individual. 

Cindy finally piped up from the background and said; 

“Let’s face it Bresnahan, that woman was a pain in the blankety-blank!”
In that case, the Search Committee thought that having such a wise woman as this behind the rector was exactly what the congregation needed and they extended a call and we accepted it.

Wisdom comes in all forms and shapes and sizes and like the wind it blows where it wills we know not where or how or when it comes or where it goes. But it is God’s own Wisdom nonetheless. ~para John 3:8

She finds herself deeply embedded in our hearts and is a gift for all who listen closely to her. 

The Holy Spirit’s third gift to us is the many gifts she gives for ministry. She is as beautiful as a rainbow of color shining through a crystal. Or as brilliant and fascinating as shapes, patterns and colors in a kaleidoscope. The gifts of ministry are as limitless as the human imagination. 

Theses gifts come to us as divided flames of fire over our heads giving us understanding in every language upon earth. The language of the Holy Spirit is not just like Spanish, German, French or English; the language of the Holy Spirit is able to comfort and give encouragement to our weary souls.

Our souls are often worn down by life’s many struggles be they warfare, gun violence or political division or gridlock. Our souls are worn down so often with grief and loss of all sorts. 

But here we are, for one another, equipped by God with gifts for ministry. We give each other understanding and encouragement. The traditional gifts of the Holy Spirit are wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, faith, and the love of God. We also give God and each other whatever is necessary to do the work God has given us to do. This is what the prayer of oblation requires of us. 

The catechism defines oblation as “an offering of ourselves, our lives and labors, in union with Christ, for the purposes of God.” In other words, as I might put it,“You can count on me to do whatever needs to be done”.

This is the ultimate gift of the Holy Spirit.  It requires all that we have and everything we are. That’s not too much to ask is it?

It is most certainly necessary in any marriage, family, church, workplace or school to work well. Look at the multiplicity of gifts required to be the member of any gathering of people; few or many . What is required of us? Everything we have and everything we are. And whatever the Holy Spirit gives us to exercise our ministry, we never stop giving. 

I am grateful beyond words for my marriage, my family, and my church and you for instance. I love you. It is as simple as that. I sense some of that coming from you too. Thanks be to God. 

Thankfully, I don’t have so many nightmares anymore. Now I dream dreams and see visions like any old man might and exactly as the Scripture said I would in today’s first lesson. 

But the Silence is always there for me as I fall off to sleep these days. But now the Silence has a Name; the Name I learned so many years ago.

In the Name of God; The Most Holy, Undivided and Everlasting Trinity; God the Creator, Jesus the Savior, and Sancta Sophia. Amen. 

Fr Paul

Below are the readings for Pentecost with highlights indicating passages, thoughts, phrases that speak to my soul. 

Day of Pentecost

Whitsunday

The Collect:

Almighty God, on this day you opened the way of eternal life to every race and nation by the promised gift of your Holy Spirit: Shed abroad this gift throughout the world by the preaching of the Gospel, that it may reach to the ends of the earth; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

First Lesson: Acts 2:1–21 

When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. And suddenly from heaven there came a sound like the rush of a violent wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. Divided tongues, as of fire, appeared among them, and a tongue rested on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them ability.

Now there were devout Jews from every nation under heaven living in Jerusalem. And at this sound the crowd gathered and was bewildered, because each one heard them speaking in the native language of each. Amazed and astonished, they asked, “Are not all these who are speaking Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each of us, in our own native language? Parthians, Medes, Elamites, and residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya belonging to Cyrene, and visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabs—in our own languages we hear them speaking about God’s deeds of power.” All were amazed and perplexed, saying to one another, “What does this mean?” But others sneered and said, “They are filled with new wine.”

But Peter, standing with the eleven, raised his voice and addressed them, “Men of Judea and all who live in Jerusalem, let this be known to you, and listen to what I say. Indeed, these are not drunk, as you suppose, for it is only nine o’clock in the morning. No, this is what was spoken through the prophet Joel: ‘In the last days it will be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams. Even upon my slaves, both men and women, in those days I will pour out my Spirit; and they shall prophesy. And I will show portents in the heaven above and signs on the earth below, blood, and fire, and smoky mist. The sun shall be turned to darkness and the moon to blood, before the coming of the Lord’s great and glorious day. Then everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.’

Psalm: 104:25-35,37

25 O Lord, how manifold are your works! *
        in wisdom you have made them all;
        the earth is full of your creatures.
26 Yonder is the great and wide sea
    with its living things too many to number, *
        creatures both small and great.
27 There move the ships,
    and there is that Leviathan, *
        which you have made for the sport of it.
28 All of them look to you *
        to give them their food in due season.
29 You give it to them; they gather it; *
        you open your hand, and they are filled with good things.
30 You hide your face, and they are terrified; *
        you take away their breath,
        and they die and return to their dust.
31 You send forth your Spirit, and they are created; *
        and so you renew the face of the earth.
32 May the glory of the Lord endure for ever; *
        may the Lord rejoice in all his works.
33 He looks at the earth and it trembles; *
        he touches the mountains and they smoke.
34 I will sing to the Lord as long as I live; *
        I will praise my God while I have my being.
35 May these words of mine please him; *
        I will rejoice in the Lord.
37 Bless the Lord, O my soul. *
        Hallelujah!

Second Lesson: Romans 8:14-17 

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, “Abba! Father!” it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ—if, in fact, we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.

Gospel: John 14:8-17, 25-27

Philip said to him, “Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.” Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own; but the Father who dwells in me does his works. Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; but if you do not, then believe me because of the works themselves.

Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father. I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If in my name you ask me for anything, I will do it. If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever. This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, because he abides with you, and he will be in you.

I have said these things to you while I am still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.