Thursday, February 05, 2015

The Journal & Spirituality

You and I and Us




My journal led me to You. You led me to the "I" within me. And You led me to "Us"

For over 20 years I have been recording the events of my life in my journal. My spiritual director led me to record the feelings I had around these events since my feelings are my "angels" or messengers from You. These feelings led me to accept Your invitation to explore my life with You and Your life within me.



We dealt with difficult people like my mother and me. 

We dealt with Your church for over 42 years now. We managed a great deal of joy and compassion and conflict. You taught me to do so without complacency; an amazing lesson!

We built a homeless shelter and fed the poor. We housed battered women and children. We were resolute together against the powers and principalities. 

You led me to the ministry of reconciliation and taught me that You and I and Us are becoming increasingly One. 

You led me to retirement and You insisted that I work on in Your church. Thank You. I love the Church, her people, and her gracious buildings. You lead me to the Holy within me. You lead me to the Holy among us.

I found you in the journal, the Holy of holies within. Just by telling the truth to my heart I realized that You are there with me. The nearer I journey within my heart, the nearer You come to me as my Friend and Companion.

Like the writers of old who spoke of the "Muse", I noticed You. Thus in the art of conversation between us, we discover one another. It is in the art of conversation that we do that among our friends and the deeper that conversation goes, You too become part of our life in one another.

As the Jewish mystic Martin Buber speaks of the I-Thou relationship within
As Moses met You at the burning bush and asked Your Name
As You spoke those amazing words "I AM"
I discovered "I am" too but without the caps. 

You are my only connection to the eternal. You are my connection to those I love, those I don't love so much and those I don't know at all. But we are all still One. 

And now You led me at long last to take care of myself in these latter days. You have led me to gastric by-pass surgery and weight loss...more than 80 lbs now. 

You led me to see that I cannot do this without you. 
You led to to see the joy and compassion of seeing myself as You see me.
You are now leading me to look upon myself without complacency as I rejoice with compassion.

This I learned again just today.
So many things to learn every day, again and again.

Adieu,
Paul

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